Grace for caringThough I knew it wouldn’t end well,I didn’t know it would change me.Grace for my reactions when it happens,Linking all the times,Every pain point looping on full blast.Grace for being so hurt and so angry for so long,Trying but the words stuck in my throat,Waiting.Grace for feeling EVERYTHING,Holding […]
Benzos, Bars, and Blues
There’s a beautiful breezeBut the neighbor’s flying highThere’s too much anxietyInside of meI can sense everythingPlease don’t rush meI need you to crush meIn the tightest hugTouch is a drugA necessityI can’t rest and beLike the mess and weMade it this farRacking up scarsRunning on hopes and dreamsHushing the screamsBenzos, […]
I’ll Be Gone Before
Remember my ‘too much’.Acknowledge your ‘too little’.I’ll be gone before you get it right.-Melissa Donley
If I Am Smiling
Music.Potatoes.A gift.Something cute.The awesome people in my life.Damn, a smile like JTT.Choir Boy blushing.Choir Boy in a t-shirt.Choir Boy in less.That stubble on that serious face.I’m ovulating.Butts.I know.My sisters know.Best of luck to you.Or not.-Melissa Donley
If I Am Not Smiling
It means nothing. Absolutely nothing.It means there are no french fries greasing my fingers.It means I am bored. To death. Literally. Almost.It means I didn’t sleep well without my comfort human.It means test results are concerning.It means you don’t know me and that’s why you can’t read me.It means you […]
My, I, Nevermind
It was my faultMaybe mostly or moreMy trauma, my trigger, my reactionMy emotions to feelTo resolve and to healMy wiring, my chemistry, my brainI needed to talkTo resolve and to healI needed to talk toI needed to tai needed to talkNevermindThank you for your time-Melissa Donley
Busted Stitch
Unknowingly my neighbor busted a stitch in my vulnerableRaw and mangled it spilled everywhereIt took me too long to realize the seams had always been poorly tacked at bestI scooped it up to ask, but the hurt strangled tightI knocked on the door and rung the bellLeft a note under […]
Wallpaper
The walls were papered and named a garden.No soil. No water. Nothing to till and seed.Arid brittle flakes.The room a stagnant cage.No bed for real to root in.No nutrients to heal the withered.There are no blooms in dead air.This is where I leave you.-Melissa Donley
Junkie
You sayDon’t wanna be meNever gonna see meHow can you believe meCall meString of bad newsPoison in the brewWhat’s a man got to doYou takeAll of the praiseLeave me to shameWithout a nameYeah you’reReady to scoreCreaks on the floorBreath at the doorBegging for moreBaby, moreBaby, moreBut I don’tLive there anymore-Melissa […]
EMDR Therapy
It didn’t matter to themRequests brushed away, no initiative takenI didn’t matter to themRejection, abandonmentIt’s not about themWounds linking, decades difficult to healTrauma triggered on repeatNo tools, no manual, empty co-pilot seatSad for me, learning the hard wayHaving to learn so much, so lateAlways reaching nothingI learnedI finally learnedTo not […]