Dim lights
Towels tucked into my collar
Numb just enough to get the needle to the nodule
Probe on my thyroid
The ultra sound appears on the screen
The doctor guides the needle in
Six passes scraping to collect enough sample
To not do this again
The icky gel never wipes clean
The puncture blood tattoos under my skin
I wait for the biopsy
I assume it's cancer, as last time
But hey, likely it’s the good kind they tell me
It doesn’t usually metastasize
But it doesn’t feel good
Waiting 2 months for this first step
The colonizer nesting in my mind and my neck
Putting its boots on the furniture
Pocketing the silver and iron
I’ve done this before
This time alone
I’m exhausted
Don’t tell me not to cry
Cut it out of me already
Too long this frame on pause
Press play
I’m getting to the good part
-Melissa Donley
*Results came back benign. Thank you Universe.